Your Family Might Be Hooah If…

~Your newborn must attend Rip within the first 30 days of life…
~Your wife’s two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam…
~Your children clear housing before going to college…
~You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in you floorboard as part of a routine tune-up…
~Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights…
~Your kids volunteer to pull air guard on the school bus…
~Your kids call their mother “Household 6.”
~You give the command “Fix bayonets” at Thanksgiving Dinner…
~Your kids show their meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on separate rations…
~You make your daughter sign out on Prom Night…
~You refer to your spouse affectionately as “the wifely unit.”
~Your wife conducts an AAR hotwash after sex…
~Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a “phase three recycle.”
~Your kids get an LES for their allowance…
~You threaten to punish your spouse for having dinner too late by reducing her to “Wife First Class.”
~Your kids recite their ABC’s phonetically…
~Your wife left you and you held a “Change of Command” ceremony…
~Your dog’s name is “Trooper.”
~Your son’s name is “Ranger.”
~All your possessions are military issue…
~Your kids fashion silly putty to look like Claymores and put them at the perimeter of the backyard…
~your newborn’s first words were “all OK Jumpmaster.”


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